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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Jack's Birth Story

This blog post is going to be long and detailed. Be prepared or choose not to read. ;) I’m mainly writing this post so in a few years when I think I want another baby, I can read Jack’s birth story and remember why I never want to go through labor again. Okay, I’m kidding… mostly.

On Friday, June 21st, Michael and I headed to the doctor for my LAST appointment with Maternal Fetal Medicine to check on Jack’s kidneys and size. On the way there, I told Michael my blood pressure was starting to rise because MFM appointments always made me nervous. I’m not sure why since I knew what to expect with his kidneys, even after birth, but for some reason I would get worked up before every appointment.

The ultrasound tech was one of our favorites and she measured all of the measurements she needed for our records. She told us that Jack had hair and that his head was off the charts. He was still measuring 2.5 weeks ahead all over his body and was estimated to weigh 8lbs 1oz. After she completed her measurements, a nurse came in and took my blood pressure. She was using a different machine than normal and my blood pressure came back as 159/103. I have NEVER been that high before so I asked her to take it again. They decided to use a different machine and it came back at 148/94. This was better but still not good so they called my OB downstairs and asked her what she wanted them to do. I was supposed to be heading down for my 37 week check up with her but I already knew she was going to send me for observation. Instead, she sent me to Labor and Delivery and said I’d be on bed rest and observation for 24 hours. I saw this coming and had told Michael that week that if my blood pressure even looked funny, they’d be keeping me… I was right.

Bed rest in the hospital was not much fun. My OB came in that evening and told me that I had until Saturday night to get my blood pressure steady or I’d end up being induced or with a c-section by Sunday. I was not thrilled with the idea of just scheduling a c-section but my doctor was still convinced Jack was going to be huge. I chose not to go ahead and schedule a c-section and said I would see how the weekend went.

Meanwhile, my blood pressure would be awesome and normal one check and then high the next. This vicious cycle kept going and really confused the on-call doctor. She wasn’t sure what to do since Pregnancy Induced Hypertension is classified as TWO high blood pressure readings in 6 hours. They were checking my blood pressure every 4 hours and since it was hit or miss, I was only having two high ones every 8 hours. I also had to pee in a jug to test for Pre-Eclampsia. In the end, I passed the pre-E test but my blood pressure kept going in the same pattern. By Saturday night, the on-call doctor said she was stumped on whether or not to induce me. She was afraid that if I went home, I’d end up really sick quickly or end up with pre-E out of nowhere. She said I would be on bed rest at home and then Michael opened his big mouth and told her I don’t really follow bed rest when I’m at home. So in the end, the decision was made to induce me. I was worried about induction at 37 weeks because I know they call white boys, “weeny white boys” when born early. I was really hoping to make it 38 weeks with Jack. However, I lost that battle and was told that induction would start Saturday night. Prior to beginning induction, I was 1cm dilated.

Saturday night they started the induction with Cervidil to prep my cervix for delivery. This form of induction is left in for 12 hours before Pitocin is started. On Sunday morning when they removed the Cervidil, I was 2cm dilated and at noon, Pitocin was started. I made quick progress with Pitocin and I felt great. Once labor really started, I was 5cm dilated and decided to give in and go for the Epidural. I had planned to labor as long as possible without it but ended up giving in and am SO glad I did. Apparently I had a perfect epidural because I could move my own legs from side to side to flip over but could not feel a thing when it came to pain. It was awesome. I continued to make some progress and then my progress halted for a few hours. I had a reaction to the epidural (I’m assuming) and got really lightheaded and sick to my stomach and almost threw up on a nurse. At the same time, Jack’s heart rate dropped drastically and they hooked me up to oxygen immediately. Once the doctor saw this, she was leaning more towards a c-section and told me if his heart rate dropped for no reason one more time, I’d be heading back to the OR. His heart rate stayed steady for a while but seemed to dip every time they rolled me to my right side or back and they figured out that he must be pinching his cord in those positions. Therefore, I spent the last 7 hours of my labor on my left side.

I continued to make progress and by midnight I was 9cm and 95% effaced. However, at that point, I started to run a fever and began to chill extremely bad. My entire body was shaking violently and my teeth were chattering. I’ve never had such body shakes in my life.  The nurse tried to tell me I was having another reaction to the epidural but the doctor finally said I had gotten an infection from having my water broken 11 hours prior. They started me on antibiotics and fluids immediately. The fever and violent shakes continued for 2 hours and I never made any more progress with labor. At that point (2:00am on Monday, June 24th), the doctor decided for me that my infection was too severe and at that point, I was moving on to a c-section. I was totally bummed after being in labor for almost 28 hours but knew that there was no way I could push with the fever and shakes I had. After shaking for 2 hours, I had absolutely NO energy left in me and literally thought I was going to die.

From here, Michael was told to “suit up” and they shipped me off to the OR. I remember asking the anesthesiologist what would happen if I slept through the entire thing because my body was completely and entirely worn out. He told me that would be fine and they’d wake me up when Jack was born. I remember being so tired but not able to sleep so I just kept rolling my head from side to side with my eyes closed. I was begging my body to just sleep but I was still conscious and aware and could hear everything going on around me. Once in the OR, everyone did their prep work and then they couldn’t find the doctor. She ended up showing up almost a half hour later (I was slightly irritated at this point) and began surgery. I began to panic at this point because they were no longer watching Jack’s heart rate and I had to lie on my back for the surgery. They encouraged me that he would be fine but in the back of my mind I kept panicking and thinking that his heart rate could be dropping at any time. They brought Michael in and the rest is history. A c-section wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought but was intense pressure on my stomach as they performed surgery and stitched me up.

Our BEAUTIFUL and blonde haired baby boy was born at 3:35am on Monday, June 24th. He weighed 8lbs 2oz and was 21 and 1/4 inches long. He had a nice cone head from being head down for 19 weeks but that went away within a day. Due to my infection, he was taken to the NICU for 48 hours so they could monitor him and make sure he did not pick up the infection or have any issues caused by my fever. In the end, he passed all the NICU tests and was able to spend his last day and a half in the hospital with us as I recovered from my c-section.

There was lots of other drama surrounding bed rest and labor but for the most part, I wanted to remember the key points of that long weekend… mostly so I could let my child know how much I love him and what I went through just to get him here. ;) Good thing he’s stinkin’ cute! <3 
With Jack's feeding and gas issues, he was not a very happy camper for the first two weeks of life. We finally figured both out and I attempted some newborn pictures of him since we were unable to get any taken with all the chaos in our lives. He wasn't the happiest camper during pictures and I'll try again soon but loved these two. I am obsessed with his gorgeous blonde hair and his baby faux-hawk. <3


Home Sweet Home

As if all of this drama was not enough, if you remember, we were supposed to close on our house Tuesday, June 25th. Well, Jack was born on Monday, June 24th. However, the title company was going to do a mobile closing for us and come to the hospital so we could close on time. We found out the day of closing that the USDA did not complete all of their paperwork on time and closing would be pushed back. We had no idea when we would close and did not find out until that Friday. Our new closing date became Tuesday, July 2nd. In the end, it was probably a blessing to close a week after Jack was born instead of a day but that meant we were forced to move July 4th when we knew friends and family were off and able to help. 

I cannot THANK our friends enough for all their help on a busy holiday. They busted butt to get us in our new home and I am so appreciative to have such loving and flexible friends. We were completely in our home by that Saturday. It's not been 2 weeks in our new home and we STILL have boxes everywhere but we'll get there. :) I am in love with our new home and am so glad to have such a gorgeous home and beautiful family all in the same week. We are truly blessed and life could not be better... or maybe it could with a little bit more sleep. ;)

The Goodins
party of 3


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Playing the "Waiting Game"

It's been a while since I have updated but school was absolutely crazy the past few weeks and I was trying to survive the end of the year. Our last day of school was Thursday, May 30th but I spent Friday, Saturday, Monday and today at school unpacking and organizing my new classroom. I am trying not to stress out about everything that needs to get done at school, with maternity planning, packing our house and prepping for Jack but my head is spinning some days.

This Thursday I will hit 35 weeks. :) Only 3-5 more weeks to go until our little man makes his big debut. I AM SO EXCITED! I continue to go to the doctor twice a week for Non-Stress Tests and once a week for Biophysical Profiles (ultrasound to track his movement, my fluid levels, etc). We have one more follow up with the high risk doctors to check on his kidneys at 37 weeks. Right now they are not severe enough that they would consider inducing me early, which is great news for his kidneys. They are still dilated but we will take it one step at a time after his birth.

At today's appointment our child proved just how stubborn he is. He would not wake up or move while the ultrasound tech was trying to get him moving and he is normally a wiggler during ultrasounds. She poked and prodded at his feet to wake him up so then while the ultrasound tech was trying to measure his blood flow in his umbilical cord and Jack got mad she woke him up so he decided to keep smacking it around so she couldn't get an accurate reading. It was hilarious. He just kept smacking his umbilical cord so she couldn't keep the transducer over it for the reading.

In other news, I have had 3 out of 4 baby showers already. We feel so loved! :) I've had one with work and our group of friends threw me. Then, last weekend, I celebrated Jack with Michael's family. His sister did such a great job with the decor and food and I loved everything about it.

My family shower is this weekend and everyone has been so generous from the past 3, I don't even know where we will fit the rest of Jack's loot!

In addition to baby showers, a friend of mine convinced me to take some maternity pictures. She's a great photographer and had she not been so convincing, I still would have said "no" but I am glad we went ahead and took them. Here's a sneak peek at a few of the images from Daisyhead Photography. 

We tried a Pinterest pose she found and liked:
                                          & the typical "belly button heart" pose:

The GROWING Goodins

Monday, May 6, 2013

Movin' along.

As of today I am 30.5 weeks along. It is completely and utterly insane to me that I will meet my sweet boy in just 9 weeks! (give or take) I am filled with excitement and anxiety of whats to come with meeting Jack, moving to our FIRST home together, and the end of the school year.

Look how much our big guy grew in 3 weeks! 

Mini G's size: According to, at 30 weeks the average baby weighs in around 3lbs. However, the more I have researched their charts, the more I realized they consider the "average" baby to be 7.6lbs. After discovering this, I feel much better about how big our child measures. I knew I'd most likely end up with a big baby thanks to my husband but even at that, Jack measured in at an estimated 4lbs 4oz at 30 weeks. CRAZY!! If he kept up with the weight gain of a half a pound each week, I'd be looking at a 9 and a half pound baby. I can't say much because Michael was 9lbs 8oz. His body continued to measure about 2.5 weeks ahead, also.

Weight gain: Still hanging out around 15 to 16 pounds. I'm pretty proud of this, especially since the doctor made me stop Zumba a month ago. I'm dying without it. Let's hope I don't gain more than 10 pounds the next 9.5 weeks.

Best moment this week: So much movement all the time. <3 I love it! Nothing is more reassuring and calming than hearing his heartbeat or feeling his movement. He was a stubborn little guy for the ultrasound (as usual) and decided to remain head-down and backwards for the entire thing. We pretty much stared at the back of his head and his spine. At the very end, we got him to turn a little so we could see his adorable little feet and his teeth buds in his mouth. 

Food cravings: Chocolate shakes. Probably not THE best thing for you but I only give in to them a few times a week and have been making them at home... delicious. I've also continued to crave Hot Box breadsticks but have yet to give in to that one.

Symptoms: HEARTBURN, insomnia, and uncomfortableness (which I know only gets worse). One day last week I overdid it at work and was completely exhausted. Jack was also sitting on my Sciatic nerve (how nice of him) and I lost all movement in my left leg. It was a pretty painful 8 hours or so and by the end of it, I couldn't even get off the couch. Luckily, that only lasted a day and I haven't had many problems since. 

Looking forward to: Seeing our big guy at my next ultrasound and meeting him in the (VERY) near future! 

Next appointment: Not sure. The doctor wants me to start coming in for non-stress tests once or twice a week and biophysical profiles because he is measuring ahead of schedule. If that's the case, I will be there two to three times a week for the next 9 weeks... ahh

On a side note, we have started taking child birthing classes. Sometimes I feel like Michael and I are the more immature ones there but tonight, many other couples were right there with us in laughing and cracking jokes. It's funny to watch Michael's expressions to videos and comments and then I quickly remind him that HE won't be the one experiencing these things, just watching. :) He still swears he's going to pass out. I'm not doubting it.

Along with Jack's progress, our house is making progress: 

Michael went to the pre-drywall meeting with the construction manager today and he confirmed we are looking at June 25th for our closing date. I will be 37 weeks and 5 days pregnant the day of closing. AHH! We will be enlisting every friend we have to help paint and move that week (assuming we aren't already in the hospital). 

This week they are installing insulation (most of it was done today) and drywall. Two weeks from today we should have everything painted (the standard white) and floors in the kitchen, bathrooms, and laundry room.

The progress has slowed down some which has made me very anxious. There for a while things were flying together and I got really excited. I cannot wait to see the difference in the house in 2 weeks.

With that being said, it's WAY past this mama's bedtime...

The GROWING Goodins

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Making Progress...

This week I hit the 27-week mark. That means I am in my final week of the second trimester and FINALLY feel like this pregnancy is moving along quickly. I don't go back to the high risk doctor for 3 more weeks and I'm nervous to see how big Jack grows in that time. There were 3 weeks between my last two appointments and he gained over a pound.

Next week I start off my third trimester by repeating the 1 hour glucose test. I pray I pass it this time because I'd love to not have to repeat the 3 hour test again. I am absolutely elated and terrified to think that Jack will be here in 12 weeks or less! We have so much to do and our house is just beginning the framing process so the race is on...

Here are my picture updates for 27 weeks:

Before I ever got pregnant, Michael's sister offered us her crib. I absolutely love the crib and am thankful for one less thing to buy for Jack. :) We did a trial run to make sure we had all the screws for it this week. This is where it's extremely difficult that we don't have a nursery or house to start setting up.

My stomach isn't the only thing growing lately. ;) Yesterday our lumber was dropped off for our house and they will begin framing this weekend. I am SO excited to see the house take shape and be able to walk around inside. It's scary to think we will be in a new house in less than 60 days and Jack will be here in less than 90 days.

The GROWING Goodins

Friday, April 5, 2013

"That's my boy!"

Mini G's size: According to, at 26 weeks the average baby weighs "a pound and two-thirds" which is roughly 1lb 5 oz. Well... we already know our chunk weighed more than that at 22.5 weeks. At 26 weeks, Jack was estimated to weigh 2lbs 9oz which, according to babycenter's weight chart, is the average size for a 30-week baby. Oh boy! His body was measuring 28.5 weeks roughly and his head was measuring over 29 weeks. At this point, I pray this baby slows down or I'm afraid to see what he comes out as.

Weight gain: I fluctuate between 11 to 13 pounds gained at this point. I went to Zumba this week but the high risk doctor told me to ask my OB if it was still smart to keep going. Since it is finally warming up I can at least go for walks with Cooper to get some exercise in. 

Best moment this week: The ultrasound tech surprised us with a 3D ultrasound. I've never seen one in person before and it was amazing to see the details of his face. At first, he would not move his hands from his face but she poked at him a little and he gave in for a few minutes. Then turned his back to us. Rotten like his father. ;) We also found out that Jack's right kidney seems to be within normal range for fluid so we're really only concerned about his left kidney at this point. His left kidney still had plenty of fluid so they will continue to monitor me every 3-4 weeks with an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech also noted how wiggly our little man is. I see a recurring theme here ... I don't think he likes sitting still.

Food cravings: Root Beer floats! Yum. :) I've been eating one every few nights but keep it to  a small glass. I drove by HotBox pizza the other day and have been thinking about their breadsticks and cheese ever since but have yet to give in to that one.

Symptoms: HEARTBURN. It's killing me. I plan on asking my doctor for something stronger than Tums when she returns from vacation next week.

Looking forward to: More movement and watching our house continue to progress. I'm ready to move in, paint and get settled in.

Next appointment: I have to repeat the glucose test in 2 weeks. I pray that I pass the 1-hour test so I don't have to repeat the horrible 3-hour test. 

Here's our little man...

The GROWING Goodins

Monday, April 1, 2013

25.5 weeks and a house

Last week and this week I have been on Spring Break and it's been good and bad. The good part is knowing I didn't have to go to work in the morning. The bad part is this horrible weather Indiana has surprised us with. In other good news, they've been working on our house and it's moving right along! Being on break has allowed me extra time to drive by and check out the progress. They are estimating that our foundation will be laid and framing will be started by the end of next week! :)

We go to the high risk doctor on Thursday and I'm excited to see how Jack is growing. He's been moving and rolling all he can in there and I'm afraid of the time when he runs out of room and gets his foot stuck in my rib. Luckily, I'm only dealing with complete uncomfortableness and raging heartburn lately. The heartburn has been keeping me awake at night and Tums aren't touching it. I may need something stronger... 

I will update on Jack on Thursday or Friday. For now, here are some updates on our house. I can't WAIT for them to get the framing done and start seeing progress on the house itself. For now, here's my 25 week pictures: 

I don't feel like I got much bigger the past week or two... 
I'm sure I'll hit another growth spurt soon to make up for it.

& here are our house pictures...

Beginning process of laying the footers.

footers and foundation walls


Not the inside of our house (yet) but excited for our white trim and two panel doors. :)

The GROWING Goodins

Monday, March 25, 2013

March 25th.

This blog post will be a little personal and really long so if you aren't comfortable with that, feel free to leave. :) You've been warned.

Today is March 25th.

It means nothing to most of you but it marks the date of our first child's due date. Michael and I found out on July 16th of 2012 that we were expecting our first child. Words could not describe how excited and scared I was.  Our lives would change forever and there was no going back. I felt great with my pregnancy and had very little symptoms. We went to the doctor for our first appointment on August 16th. I was 8.5 weeks into the pregnancy. The ultrasound tech performed the ultrasound and we heard a heartbeat and saw our baby. Suddenly, we both realized that this pregnancy was real and we were elated. Afterward, I had to meet with the doctor but didn't think Michael needed to stay for the doctor visit and bloodwork so I let him leave for work.

Once I started talking to the doctor (it was also my first appointment with this new doctor), she informed me that the baby's gestational sac was measuring small. She explained that this could be one of three things: (1) sometimes, that means they didn't get a clear image, (2) in some cases, the gestational sac can catch up but more often than not, (3) the baby cannot survive and the pregnancy terminates itself. I was asked to come back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound. Reality of what the doctor was saying did not hit me until I left the doctor's office and called Michael. And then I immediately lost it. Everyone kept telling me to stay positive and I did but it was hard. Part of me knew something wasn't right but I kept thinking everything would be fine. These became the longest two weeks of my life.

By the time the next appointment came around, I was a nervous wreck. I had a feeling all week that the baby had not survived but I did not have any bleeding or cramping so I tried to focus on the positives. By the time we got to the doctor's office I felt like I was going to throw up everywhere. The ultrasound confirmed what I had already known but Michael had not, the baby had not survived and there was no heartbeat. Unfortunately, it was a Friday afternoon appointment and the Friday before Labor Day. My doctor was no longer in the office and I'd have to wait through the long weekend before getting answers on what would come next. I had suffered a "missed miscarriage" and my body didn't bleed or cramp because it didn't realize I had miscarried. The on-call doctor told me some people's body may take weeks or months before realizing the baby is no longer viable. However, with the risk of infection, I could not wait that long to allow my body to figure it out.

On September 5th, 2012, I had surgery to "remove my pregnancy". As I was getting out of the car with Michael at the surgery center, I completely lost it and told him I couldn't do it. Yet, I knew I had no choice. The procedure was quick and from there, I began the healing process.

None of my friends had experienced a miscarriage and few people in my family or around me had so grieving became a very hard process. I wasn't sure if what I was feeling was normal or wrong. I quickly became angry and jealous of anyone pregnant around me who had a healthy pregnancy. I constantly asked Michael why it had to be us. I'd never wish this kind of pain on anyone else but couldn't understand why it had to happen to us. We had done everything completely right. I had not broken any rules during pregnancy and made sure I was as healthy as could be.

Yet, sometimes things happen and we'll never know why.

The grieving process for a miscarriage is much harder than I ever imagined it could be. I am not an emotional person and do not cry easily. I don't cry at weddings or movies. But then I became that mess of a person who cried at the drop of a hat. I would cry in my car driving home. I would cry when a certain song came on the radio. I would cry every Monday when I should have rolled over to the next week of pregnancy. And it was hard. Michael was wonderful throughout my experience but had no idea what I was going through or how I felt so he was unsure of how to help me. By that point, he was focused on giving it the time we needed before trying again and then starting over. Looking back, I tell people who are going through this experience to cry as much as they need to. Only a mother (even if you lose your first child in utero) knows the connection you make to that baby the minute you find out you are pregnant. I could never explain how much pregnancy changes you from the beginning. We had hopes and dreams for our first baby and suddenly they all vanish. Our first child should have been here with us for his/her first Easter this year. We would have celebrated our first Mother's Day and Father's Day as parents. But things change. And we have to accept these changes.

I know that I am deeply saddened by our loss and knowing we could have had a baby in our arms at this very moment but I also know that Jack would not be on his way here to meet us if we hadn't gone through this experience. I am thankful we were able to conceive quickly after. It has made the grieving process much easier but there are still days it has made it harder. I have YET to truly enjoy pregnancy. I was scared to get attached to this new baby inside of me. What if it happened again? I began to live from appointment to appointment and became so sick to my stomach before every appointment that I'd almost throw up in the waiting room. It has made it especially difficult when dealing with Jack's kidney issues. Although his issues are completely fixable, I have my moments and times when I get bitter and jealous that I cannot have a healthy pregnancy while so many others around me have. After everything we have been through, couldn't this pregnancy have been free of complications? Shouldn't Jack have a fair shot at life?

But that's not how life works.

So we've taken Jack's Hydronephrosis in stride and we've worked through our anxiety and fears. I know that Riley Children's Hospital is an amazing hospital and am comfortable trusting any doctor working there. And for right now, I enjoy every kick and punch I get from my little man and am thankful for these kicks because he's letting me know he's just fine. I cannot wait to go the doctor tomorrow to hear his heartbeat and to see his sweet face again on April 4th for our follow-up ultrasound.

In addition, we had not bought anything for Jack yet because of moving right before he's born and him already measuring so big (not sure what sizes to buy) but we did make our first purchase yesterday. It was two pairs of shoes that look just like daddy's. :)

Sorry for the long post but I am definitely someone who feels better when my emotions are in writing. I kept a private blog throughout my experience with how I felt and what I was going through and found out yesterday morning that the blog somehow completely deleted itself when the system upgraded. I lost everything. So this is my way of getting my emotions out, moving on, and accepting that our lives wil never be the same on March 25th. <3

The GROWING Goodins